Season 4, Episode 1

In which we learn all over again that Petrina is the Mole. Oh, was that meant to be some sort of secret? Because the producers didn't know.

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Previously on The Mole: Pre-Recorded And Lovin' It!: Tasmania. Victoria. Queensland. Skydiving. The Targa Rally. Sarah Island. Paintball. Nude portraits. Vic, the Hobart Town Crier. Melbourne, woo! PYRO. A fugitive with a hostage mannequin. Sovereign Hill. Spending all night guarding a bowl. The Hitchcock Hotel. Teaching each other to fly. Jumping out of helicopters. Trap shooting. Fake electric shocks. The Weakest Link. Tickle-Me-Elmo. Baby photos. Ann-Maree's gleeful murder. Bikes and scooters. Diamond thieves. Platypuses without tails. Saltwater crocodiles. It Had To Be You. Thirty-eight contestants. $323,000 in earned cash. A host who probably isn't just looking for an excuse to strap on a nasal Bogan accent and remove his shirt at the next available opportunity, Tom Williams. Ahem.

Ew. Orange. I don't like these new graphics that ask us who The Mole is. I mean, it's not like the producers are going to stick in a very obvious clue in the first episode to help us or anything. And we really don't need a reminder of which damn show we decided to watch. We run along a courtyard-y thing to see Grant "Australian Fast" Bowler, facing a pool but swivelling his head around to talk to us. As he always does, he tells us about the casting process. Three months ago. Newspaper ads. One wonders if that casting process would give them a higher success rate than all the open casting calls and whatnot the American reality shows use. It certainly seems like it would get people who know what the damn show is about, CoughSurvivorAmazingRaceCough. And really? Comparing people like Jan and Shane and Crystal-Rose to people like Rupert and Mirna and Cirie? No competition. We win, hands down. (Admittedly, the drab cast of Australian Survivor could beat those people, but whatever.) After "thousands of responses", they got cut down to just nine normal people, and one person to be the Mole. If you don't know what the Mole's job is, perhaps this isn't the recap for you, but here goes: The Mole has to fuck up and stop the team winning money, without being caught. The other contestants have to figure out who the Mole is. Whoever knows the most about the Mole by the end of the season wins money. How much? Well, that depends on how much the team fucks up. So, who is The Mole? Well, I'll give you a hint that's about as hard to find as the producer-placed one in this episode: Her name starts with P and rhymes with Katrina.

Credits. Okay, your show shoots in New Caledonia, but doesn't go there until the second episode. So why do you have spoilery shots of most of the contestants here, when you've still got an elimination to go before you head there? Sigh.

Hey, it's a plane. We didn't just get bought out by The Amazing Race, did we? Grant tells us that the contestants' "journey" (blecch) will take them to New Caledonia, which appears to be some "tropical paradise" out with all those other islands Survivor uses, and which is "soon to be tainted by betrayal". The challenges (which Grant deems "assignments") will "force the contestants to confront their fears", provided their fears involve dangling from the underside of a helicopter and wearing old-style diving helmets. Relax, not at the same time. That's ridiculous and unrelated to anything about New Caledonia or espionage, and it's exactly why The Amazing Race will be using it next season. But "someone is betraying them, and even in paradise, there'll be no escaping the treachery and sabotage from the Mole". Well, that's good to know, Grant.

And all this New Caledonia tourist claptrap is irrelevant, because everyone's going to be starting on a cold and rainy day in Sydney. You know, I've been to Sydney and hated it, so I have to love them for pointing out that Sydney decidedly isn't anything even approaching paradise. One point for the producers, even though it would have been two if they had used Adelaide. There's a lot of traffic in Sydney on this particular morning, and two pairs of feet get close ups. A redheaded woman in an ugly Colin-Baker-as-Doctor-Who raincoat, Alison walks through the streets to a corner, where she waits and waits until we see Nathan walk over. Nathan? Is HOT. Just getting that out there. (Even though he does have a touch of the Ben Cousins.)

Screeching train brakes introduce us to Central Railway Station. You can tell this wasn't filmed in Melbourne, because our trains don't have working brakes anymore. Anyway, older lady Kris walks down the platform carrying her bags with her hands, which can't possibly be effective. She's helping Alison in increasing the proportion of redheads on reality TV... partially, at least. A second older person, who will turn out to be Greg, also walks down the platform. Greg appears to know who Kris is. Is he the Mole? Of course not, because his name doesn't rhyme with Katrina. Kris appears oddly chipper for what looks to be early morning.

Out on the harbour, that hideous bridge is barely visible through the fog, which is good. Unless you're driving, I suppose. A ferry arrives at the Taronga Zoo ferry terminal. Nikki, a generic blonde chick, and Cam, a cute blonde guy, meet up there. Their introduction looks hilariously staged. (Speaking of staged, Eurovision's on in the background as I write this. Shut up, German singer's pants.)

You just know any Seven show using exterior shots in Sydney is going to wind up on Martin Place eventually, so let's just get that over and done with, before they wind up invading that other show that's eerily reminiscent of The Mole, but without any of the things which made it fun to watch. Stace has dreads. Josh does not. Both are doomed to suck.

In some park I really should try identifying but am too lazy to bother checking (Hyde Park?), the last pair meets. They are Shaun, a guy who really has no business being on this particular reality show, and Petrina (ding ding ding!). Petrina is very short. Like... well, a mole, if I'm being honest.

As an electronic clock at Central Station ticks over to 7:30, we smash-cut to an airport, where Grant stands in the cover of a skydiving plane. It's probably not important.

Suddenly, a pay phone rings. Alison and Hot Nathan look perplexed, possibly thinking that pay phones only ever ring in shows and movies about spies. They quickly realise what show they're on, and decide to answer it, which is good, because their first assignment starts now. Grant split-screens his way in to tell Hot Nathan that there's a safe outside Town Hall with instructions inside. If they can open it in three minutes, they get the first $1000 of the show. Easy, right? Well, you'd think so, but they have to work out the combination to open it themselves. It doesn't help that Hot Nathan takes three seconds to hang up the phone. As Hot Nathan explains what's happening to Alison, she split-screens telling us what was going on. You just know that if this was The Biggest Loser, you'd get Grant explaining it, then Hot Nathan explaining it to Alison, then Alison telling us what's happening, then Hot Nathan telling us that he told Alison, and Alison telling us that Hot Nathan told her. Followed by a commercial break and the same thing all over again. Anyway, there's a piece of paper taped to a billboard, with the words "solve the puzzle, crack the safe" on it. How... necessary. And it's nice to see someone has some experience using Microsoft Publisher. Apparently more than the production assistant who needed the words "TOWN HALL" printed on it in giant caps to know where they had to take it. This puzzle is behind some Perspex inside one of those triangular Crime Stoppers billboards (heh), and is simple by comparison to what the others are going to get:

PHONE = 74663
MOLE = ????

Hot Nathan also split-screens, to explain that it was a puzzle. I stand corrected about the Biggest Loser thing. Sorry. They work out pretty quickly that the answer is the numbers you'd use to type the word "Mole" on a phone keypad, but Hot Nathan really doesn't explain it very well. With 1:38 left on their clock, we go into yet another split-screen, this time telling us to solve the puzzle on the official website. You'd think the website people would know the answer to this. Hot Nathan and Alison try to work out the answer by using the numbers on the safe keypad. Okay, riddle me this: If they know it's Mole on a phone keypad, why don't they run back over to the pay phone they answered to get the right answer. That'd have the letters on it. (I overthink shows like this wayyyyyy too much. Sorry in advance.) Alison split-screens that Hot Nathan "was quite flustered" because of the time limit, and because she was making him stressed. Hot and flustered is a combination I like very much. Hot Nathan bobble-heads in a split-screen about how time is not a universal invariant. Except, you know, in easier-to-understand terms. The timer returns with twelve seconds left, and they make a last-ditch effort to get it open, which doesn't work. A shot from somewhere below their location shows them and the Crime Stoppers board, as Alison suggests that they smash it open. Hot Nathan correctly points out that it won't be possible. Especially not in the three seconds they have left. At the exact moment the clock hits zero, a monophonic ringtone of the show's theme music plays. How quaint! It's coming from on top of the Crime Stoppers board, and Alison retrieves the phone. Grant split-screens in to explain that they lost, and that the actual code is 6653, as opposed to the 5653 they tried. Stupid letter M. Be more five-y!

By the way, the numbers 6653 are some you'll definitely want to remember. Just a hint. (Oh, who cares, I'll probably remind you when they return anyway.)

Hot Nathan enters the code and opens the safe. Inside, there's another phone and a Palm Pilot. Hot Nathan asks Alison if she's ever used a Palm Pilot before, but manages to sound the least condescending I think I've ever heard a reality contestant be. I love him already. We get a close up of the Palm Pilot, but the combination of sun glare, the rain on the screen, and my little downloaded Youtube video being pretty poor quality means that I can't read most of it. The bottom paragraph, however, does read: "Your assignment is now over. There's a limousine waiting for you in the Town Hall carpark." So that's where your budget for this show is going. Limos for all!

The phone on the train station platform rings when Hot Nathan calls it, and Kris answers, sounding vaguely like a bad Queen impersonator. The monarch, not the band. Though she could probably do a passable Freddie Mercury, too. She does seem like that sort of person. Hot Nathan nervously reads the pre-prepared message from the Palm Pilot, which tells Kris and Greg that their puzzle is in the luggage room at the end of the platform. Same deal as the other puzzle, though: Three minutes for $1000. Kris grabs her bags and drags them with her as she runs, enthusiastically telling Greg what the deal is. Greg says he's coming, but takes some time hoisting his bag back up over his shoulders.

Hot Nathan and Alison read the ending of their message, and quickly find the limo, helpfully emblazoned with the The Mole logo.

Kris and Greg waddle off towards the locker room. Oh my God, I've been in this exact room. A few weeks before this show aired, in fact. Oddly enough, I seem to recall that the first time I even knew The Mole was coming back for this season was when I saw a billboard for it on the exact screen now used to present Kris and Greg their puzzle. Heh. The puzzle is difficult to explain without a picture, so:



Ladies and gentleman, welcome back to a little thing called Paint. Ironically for someone who likes this sort of show, I'm very lowtech.

They also get a "solve the puzzle to open the safe" message, but luckily do not get a "Locker Room!" addition to the poster. Greg appears to work it out instantly. Basically, you add the two middle numbers (15 and 14) together, then multiply that answer (29) by the bottom (10) to get the top (29 x 10 = 290). So, the safe opens like this: (51 + 49) x 11. Since 51 plus 49 is an even hundred, your answer is 100 x 11 = 1100. Simple. While we're still here, can I take a moment to point out how ugly and white Greg's sweater is? It's like Michael Jackson bred with Cliff Huxtable. And I know I'm too young to make that reference, but whatever. It was parodied on The Simpsons, and that's all that matters.

Anyway, they work it out after a brief brainfart, and open the safe. Woo! Kris is "shaking" when she keys in the code, and shrieking when it opens. She doesn't care about the Palm Pilot, as long as she has a mobile. With all this perkiness, there's a snowball's chance in The Fifth Season that she's the Mole. I'd lie and pretend there's a remote possibility she could be, but... it's not like anybody didn't know it was Petrina after a few episodes in. They old-fogey their way through calling the next pair...

...Which is Cute Cam and Nikki, who run immediately to the phone when they hear it ringing. Do you think everybody got told after Hot Nathan and Alison almost ignored it as a wrong number? Cute Cam answers the phone as we get a hidden camera shot from just above crotch height. Nikki crowds into the phone booth as well, and it's probably a good thing that camera is where it is. Kris slowly but perkily tells them their puzzle is on the ferry at the end of the dock. Cute Cam very quickly explains to Nikki while they grab their bags, then resumes wondering when Grant had a sex change. A couple of onlookers watch on wearily.

Kris and Greg get into their limo.

Cute Cam and Nikki also get the "solve the puzzle" memo. Their puzzle seems easy, but would probably take longer than three minutes to figure out even without the money and sabotage distracting them. All they have to do is figure out how many days the younger of them has been alive. Since Nikki's only 19, having been born in 1984, it's obviously her age they need. Nikki split-screens that Cute Cam immediately started using the waiting writing materials to figure out her age, while she just wanted to work out the code. Well, yes, dear, that IS what he's trying to do. Unless he's writing down a list of the reality shows he now qualifies for as a J-list celebrity. He might have to cross Dancing With The Stars off the list, now that he's too famous for it. And it's not like your trying to find more puzzles to do underneath the safe is exactly helping that much, Nikki. Techno thinking music plays, as Cute Cam asks again how old she is. She confuses him a little by saying she's only 18 years and 24 days, and he laughingly split-screens about her forgetting her age. You'll notice he doesn't mention anything about her being the Mole, possibly because he's not one of the three television-free monks in Nepal who didn't know it was Petrina. With 12 seconds left, they're still trying to work out all the leap years. This isn't good. Neither is Cute Cam calling 2002 a leap year. Right at the last second, she changes her age to back to 19, keeping the 24 days as well. Suddenly, the Monophonic Ringtone of Work Faster, Dammit plays, and Nikki retrieves the phone from behind a row of lifejackets. Grant split-screens in to deliver the bad news, still on the back of that plane, and to tell them the right answer is 6964. Which, by my count at least, is 19 years and 25 days, assuming she's telling the truth about her birthday. Perhaps the producers were counting the day she was actually born. (If they are, using the birthday she gave dates this challenge to the 26th of May, 2003, for the one-point-three-six of you playing along at home.) She explains to Cute Cam that they ran out of time, in case he thought Grant was calling halfway through to give them some help. Or something.

Cute Cam calls Stace and Josh from the moving ferry (no limo!), telling Josh about the safe at the newsstand across the road. Josh relays it to Stace as they walk over. The message here also has a "Solve The Puzzle" thingy. Here it is, complete with spaces where appropriate:

The Mole = 33 45
A Traitor - 1? ??

Another ad for the website pops up as Josh and Stace look at the puzzle. Stace reads from somewhere that the safe will lock after three attempts. Which I assume would mean that they couldn’t get the stuff out to call Shaun and Petrina if they fuck up, right? Josh split-screens that he's good at puzzles, but fucks up a lot. The website promo becomes pointless when you see his fingers type in the correct code -- 1101 -- on the keypad. How do you get that, I hear you ask? You assign each letter of the alphabet a number (A=1, B=2, and so on), and then add the numbers for the letters in each word together. So "The" is 33 (20 + 8 + 5 = 33), "Mole" is 45 (13 + 15 + 12 + 5 = 45), "A" is obviously 1, and "Traitor" is 101 (20 + 18 + 1 + 9 + 20 + 15 + 18). Stace is flummoxed, and split-screens as such. You know, you could spend all day whining about him not explaining the answer to you before he did it, or you could use the time to rule him off your list of suspects. Perhaps it's why she got eliminated. (Spoiler!)

Stace calls Petrina and tells them their safe is inside a limo at the Hyde Park fountain, but they have to solve the puzzle on the back of the phone box before they do it. Petrina runs around the other side to the puzzle, which they really should have seen by now, as Shaun ambles without any idea what's going on. Thanks for helping him, Petrina! Behind the phone box is one of those scrolling billboards, clearly working harder than Petrina is to hide her obvious sabotage. It scrolls over to reveal the fifth puzzle, another addition thing. Petrina and Shaun have to figure out four things - the year of Australia's federation, the number bingo callers refer to as "two fat ladies", the postcode for the Melbourne GPO, and the number of seconds in an hour. But they don't read quickly enough, and the billboard scrolls back to the other image, part of the show's logo. Well, okay, all of the logo, except for the "In Paradise" part. Because, really, Sydney ain't paradise. Petrina immediately works out that the year of Federation is 1901, and also conveniently knows that two fat ladies is 88. The billboard scrolls down again, and part of the problem here is that the message is on the bottom half of the poster, beneath the omnipresent instructions. I suppose the other part of the problem is that Petrina is here, Mole-ing it up. After a brief pause in which she probably works out what the actual postcode is -- 3001 -- Petrina confidently offers the answer 3000, before pointing out that the number of seconds in an hour is the same as the number of minutes in an hour multiplied by the number of seconds in one of these Earth minutes. Oh, fine, she actually says "sixty by sixty", but I need to boost the word count of this recap somehow. Plus, it's probably less confusing for Shaun, who... seems, at least from his appearance, like he's not exactly going to be passing an IQ test any time soon. Also not passing the test? Whoever came up with the idea to have 364,938 countries voting in the Eurovision final. Just declare the fish-lipped yelling Norwegian the winner already. Surprisingly, Shaun gives the correct answer of 3600 seconds rather quickly, suggesting there actually is something going on inside that head. Sorry. They run to the cab, with Shaun happy to get out of the rain, and Petrina happy to get away from the puzzle before he notices that she fucked up.

With about 1:45 left, they find the cab and get in, the puzzle split-screening in for no known reason. As soon as Shaun sits down, Petrina starts badgering him to add the numbers together, and begins doing it for him. You'll note that the limo is already moving, which might make it a little harder. I'm not sure how, but they seem to be trying however they can to not make it obvious that Petrina is the Mole. Perhaps this is some sort of counterbalance for THAT hint later on. Petrina split-screens that she was "pretty much driving it", and Shaun wasn't doing much. So, to recap, it's all Petrina's fault then if they lose. Also, isn't the chauffeur technically "driving it"? As you would expect from the Mole, the safe fails to open itself, and she wastes valuable time pressing random buttons and jiggling the handle. Because that sometimes works. With just ten seconds left, she finally comes to the startling revelation that they've fucked one of the answers up, but pretends to care about where she is, like it matters at this point. Or any point. Suddenly, the MRoWF,D begins annoying me again, and Petrina eventually retrieves it from its oh-so-hidden location on the side-table thingy. Grant split-screens in again, looking much cooler than Oprah Skype-ing in, and tells her that her time is up and that she sucks as a Mole. Except for that last part. The combination to their safe was 5590 (1901 + 88 + 3001 + 3600), which is only one away from their guess of 5589. Grant appears to have no time for incompetence, talking over Petrina's whining to tell her this. Love you too, Grant. Petrina opens the safe and shows the fake, 1960's-board-game-looking money, and Shaun suggests that they burn it. Oh, vandalism's your answer for everything. Petrina hands the Palm Pilot of Instructitude to Shaun, which is ridiculous because they don't actually need it for anything. It's just tells them that they're headed to the airport, and will be taking "flight Mole 007", which, amazingly, Petrina does not recognise as a James Bond reference. She really is the worst secret agent ever. Well, maybe she's a little better than Maxwell Smart. Barely.

Grant voices over a montage of the limos heading to the airport. Look, there's Nikki and Cute Cam, having somehow been magicked away from their ferry! And Hot Nathan and Alison! And Kris and Greg! He promises that after the break, they'll find out that it "won't be a conventional flight". Really? I was under the impression that skydiving planes were actually conventional flights. It's not like they have to skydive naked or anything. (But I think we can all agree that in some cases that would be a welcome twist. Others... not so much.)

Commercials! I'm really not sure how the UK decided that a song by Andrew Lloyd-Webber could win a contest most famous for ugly spandex and giving the world Abba. Or why it was even considered in the first place.

We return on a bunch of shots of limousines, and one shot of the airport sign. Is this really the sort of show where we need to be reminded of this fact? Is ANY show? For no reason, Hot Nathan asks Alison if she can hear any music. Grant rehashes that everyone is going to the airport, and adds that the team only earned $2000 out of the $5000 available for that first assignment. He wonders aloud whether one of the failures is Petrina's -- uh, The Mole's fault -- or whether she's "yet to strike", and I wonder whether it's even fair for the first piece of Mole sabotage to happen when only one of the nine real players has met her. Nikki joins in the rhetorical wondering, asking Cute Cam if there's any reason they stuck two blondes together. Cam snarks that they just look good together, and I'd totally mock him for thinking a 19-year-old looked good if I wasn't a 19-year-old who thought HE looked good. Cam split-screens that he couldn't be the Mole, because he's "never told a lie in [his] life". Except for that, obviously. Also, he's a firefighter from Blackburn, which not only do I pass through on my way to Uni (Bayswater represent!), but is also a really unfortunate name for a suburb where a firefighter lives. Nikki, a cheerleader from the comparatively-unmockable suburb of Avalon, is only here because she wants a good time. Couldn't she just go to Schoolies like the rest of us?

Kris tells Greg the puzzle they did was "nerve-wracking". It took them all of 45 seconds. That's not nerve-wracking, that's not nerve-wracking at all! Kris, a sales rep from Oyster Bay, asks us in a split-screen whether she looks like the Mole, and... I suppose if Alan from a few seasons ago put on a wig and a copious amount of drag make-up it could be a vaguely plausible assumption to make, but I don't think she does. Especially since her name isn't Petrina. Greg is a manager of some kind from the non-existent location of "Craigeburn" (sic), and also robotically confirms that he isn't the Mole. Seriously, you could get more emotion out of Jeanne Little's face than he provides in that little split-screen.

Stace tells Josh in their limo that they appear to be moving in a direction in their motorised vehicle. Imagine that. Stace, a masseuse and the only contestant this season from neither New South Wales nor Victoria, tells us she's too honest to be the Mole. Josh, whose job appears to be public relations, tells us he's not the Mole but wants to be, because he could play to the end. You know how else you can play to the end, Josh? Winning. And you get extra money too this way.

Petrina and Shaun are still whining about missing out of the money. Well, Petrina is, and she's going rather overboard about doing it. Petrina is from Petersham and claims she isn't the Mole. You lying liar who lies. Shaun's a security guard, also from a location that doesn’t exist in the spelling the graphics department provides, and it may surprise you to learn than he's only 21 years old. He also claims not to be the Mole. And it's really hard not to believe him, even if you're the one person outside of Nepal who doesn't know it's Petrina, which is part of the problem with this cast. Could you really buy Shaun as the Mole? Or Stace? Or Kris? Or Hot Nathan? So you're already down four suspects, even before you take into account The Most Incredibly Obvious Giveaway Hint In History.

Speaking of, Alison asks him which way the airport is, and it's not like he would know any more than you, given you were flown to Sydney and he wasn't. Brighton musician Alison? Says she isn't the Mole. I know, I was shocked too. Nathan is a stevedore, which I guess is like a matador, but only working with bulls named Steve, and is from Cronulla, which automatically costs him a few points. He wants free money. Nathan tells Alison that they "might not be going straight there", a logical assumption to make knowing the history of this show, and certainly suggesting that the contestants knew about the international travel beforehand. Which makes sense, because how awkward would it have been if they got to the airport for the flight out, and it turned out Nikki didn't have a passport? They'd have to stow her tiny body into the overhead compartment for three hours. But at least it would keep her away from those lecherous male flight attendants.

...Wait, they're usually WHAT? Oh, never mind. We might have to hide Hot Nathan instead. If he'll even fit. Maybe Cute Cam would.

The limousines pull up at the airport, and everybody gets out. As they introduce themselves to each other, and work out that Petrina is the Mole, Grant reminds us that Someone Is The Mole. We might need to start a drinking game for every time he says something ridiculously obvious. Sometimes, we might not even make it to the first commercial break. Petrina takes the time to try and avoid suspicion by telling us she "immediately" thought Josh could have been the Mole because of his wandering eyes. Josh definitely doesn't seem to be the type of guy I could get along with easily, but him as the Mole? No. Just... no. Perhaps she picks him to blame because when he goes around calling everyone "shifty", Petrina happens to be standing in the right position to be the first one called. One point for Josh. He also calls Cute Cam (I think) "shifty but telegenic", and that's another two points. One for being right, and one for managing to use "telegenic" in a sentence. And that concludes the portion of this show in which Josh earns points. Hot Nathan tells us that Greg "stood out a lot at the airport". I'll bet he did. (Okay, I'm done making fat jokes. At least until another opportunity arises.) Apparently, he didn't particularly want the others to know that much about him, and we get to see this in action as he roams around with the chattering group in the background. Everybody loads their backpacks onto a conveyor belt and gets tickets for the flight, as Grant superfluously exposits that nobody knows where they're flying to. Well, I would assume that at the very least Petrina knows, and it sounds like Hot Nathan may have figured something out. So, in short: Love ya, but shut up, Grant. Hot Nathan sets off the metal detector as he walks through it. Yeah, might have been a good idea to remove the crotch jewellery before you got to the airport.

Grant tells us that before the team flies, "there's another shock". They all have to represent Malta in Eurovision! (Malta wishes.) Grant's "shock" is really not that much of a shock at all -- two of them won't be flying. A staticky announcement comes over the PA calling for Greg and Shaun. Is there a weight limit for skydiving? Because that's the only reason I can think of for these two in particular to be singled out. Shaun confessionals that he was trying to get to know everyone else and find out who else thought Petrina was the Mole when he heard the announcement. When they get to the desk, a grand total of about ten steps away from where the group is sitting, the lady behind the counter gives them a phone. In news I'm sure you will be shocked to hear, it's Grant, split-screening in to explain that they'll be driving to the next location instead of flying. Greg tells Shaun the bad news, and they walk off. Greg split-screens to boringly tell us that "the remaining eight contestants" "virtually swamped" them, and that he had not been told what was happening, but correctly assumed that being driven away from the airport meant that they weren't about to fly anywhere. Of course. I mean, the car isn't exactly one of those flying space cars the Jetsons used in the far-off year of 2002.

The other eight people get their boarding passes. Whee! Cute Cam split-screens to tell us that even on the minibus to their plane, people were still trying to figure out who everyone else is, and thus somehow managed to avoid seeing "the big skydiving plane" right in front of them. Nathan is shocked. Shocked, I tell you! Nikki seems to be the first person to figure out that Mole Air isn't actually an official airline. The group notice Grant standing next to the plane, just as the poor guy has been doing all morning. Kris may or may not have fainted in her seat at the prospect of being asked to do something risky in a game all about espionage. She split-screens, whining about "all these hysterical people in the bus", as she tells said hysterical people that she's having a hot flush, before the split-screen takes over just in time for Kris to tell us skydiving is "[her] worst nightmare". Well, isn't that a happy little co-inky-dink?

The team assembles in front of Grant, who tells them of the current value in the kitty. Grant ominously intones that on today's flight, they'll "provide the takeoff", but the contestants will "be responsible for landing". Dun-dun-DUN!

After the commercials, people jump. Another surprise successfully ruined. Why do shows fell the need to pander to people who really can't keep their focus on a television show for the duration of a three-minute commercial break?

Commercials! A Crappy Song But A Great Video Clip: She's All I Ever Had, Ricky Martin.

Now kitted out in jumpsuits, far different from what they were wearing when they appeared to board the plane just before the commercials, the hot guys (and Josh) board their plane. Josh split-screens that "getting in the plane was pretty cool". If that's pretty cool, I can't wait to see what he thinks of the skydiving. He says he "kind of felt like, y'know, Top Gun". Which is helpful and all, given he sort of looks like an older, uglier version of Val Kilmer. What happened to his character again? Alison tells us that she thought Petrina "was about to cry or something". Kris adds that she "was watching the colour... drain... from... Petrina's face", and that Alison was also Casperising herself, but Kris was fine. Perhaps because she's already figured out that when Grant doesn't tell you that you all have to jump to win money, you don't have to. Petrina says she "so knew [she] wanted to jump, but this feeling in [her] heart was just, 'I don't know if I can'." Well, of course, dear, that's called trying to do your damn job as The Mole.

Grant tells us the eight skinniest contestants must decide whether or not to jump, a decision that's no doubt made easier by taking them up in the plane even if they have no intention of doing so. Petrina's altitude-affected voice tells everyone else she's always wanted to skydive. Grant voices over that they'll be jumping from about 4,000 metres -- that's 13,200 feet, to all you lazy, Metric-system-phobic Americans -- to their landing site, which is at some random hotel down in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales. Hopefully they don't end up skewering themselves on the vase statue in the middle of the yard, or on any of the ubiquitous trees present.

Shaun voices over that they got instructions telling them to "come to a place called Milton Park", then split-screens to tell us that it was "a bit of a spin-out", before going on about how beautiful it is. We get it, guys, the hotel paid for this episode. We don't need it rubbed in our goddamn faces. (Actually, the producers of The Amazing Race Asia could do well to remember this too.) While he and Greg get out of the car and move to what looks like it's a balcony, Grant walks up. Oh, this can't be good. For them. For us, it's almost certainly going to be a helluva lot of fun. Grant explains how everyone else is up in the plane about to skydive, and that they don't know there's any money on the line. But they totally do, because everything happens for a reason on television. Except for maybe the killings of Maude Flanders, Alex Krycek, and Madge from Neighbours. But since nobody's actually getting murdered on this show, as far as I know, we can ignore them. So, since they supposedly don't know about the money, it's your job to earn it instead. Both Shaun and Greg fail to show the amount of surprise I'm sure the producers are expecting. All you have to do here is guess who will jump and who won't, based solely on what little information you gleaned from them at the airport. If you guess what someone does correctly, you win $1000. If you fuck it up, you lose $1000. Simple, right? Now, because you really don't know anybody well enough to do this properly, Grant hands over another Palm Pilot, this time with the names and photos of each of the other eight contestants.

The first person Grant shows is Nikki, whom Grant calls "Nicole". Greg immediately says she'll jump, because "she's very jumpable". Oh, blecch. There are no words. Greg is dead to me, the dirty old man. (And, unlike Knob from Australian Survivor, not in the literal way. Yet.) Shaun does not tell us his opinion on Nikki. Next up is Hot Nathan, and both agree that he'll jump, because, as Shaun says, "he looks like the type that'll give anything a go". Josh(ua), the Grant-appointed "spin-doctor", is also going to jump if Greg has anything to do with it, despite Shaun's reservations that "he seemed a bit... full of himself". Greg checks with Grant that the pair have to make a united decision, just in case you could earn money if only one of you guesses right, making a mockery of the entire exercise. Shut up, Greg. Grant confirms that they can't split their decision, so Greg sheepishly changes his mind, now thinking he'll chicken out. Wouldn't Josh being full of himself be a sign he'd be MORE likely to do it, so he can say that he has?

...Anyway, Stace'll jump, and so will Hot Cam. Alison, she of the windswept photo hair, will also jump, even though Shaun once again thinks she won't. Kris, looking more than a little like Betty White, definitely won't jump. Petrina will jump, according to the duo. Grant confirms that they think everyone except for Josh and Kris will jump.

Up on the plane, people sit around and wait to jump (or not). Grant voices over that everyone's about to be given a four-digit code before they jump, and I reach for the largest bottle of vodka I can find. Because here's where the season goes downhill, just like Tom Williams's reputation after he took over. ("Never." The answer to "When will it stop being funny to mock Tom Williams?" is "Never.")

Hot Nathan's number is 6284, but he tells us he was having trouble just remembering how to breathe. He jumps. $1000. Josh's number is 5674, and he also jumps. That grand Hot Nathan just won? Gone. Cute Cam's number is 2268. He jumps, and we're back in the black. Amidst some generic electric-guitar sounding music, Hot Nathan lands, almost losing his equilibrium in the process. Heh.

Stace's number is 7822. Stace jumps. Petrina tells us that she was trying to remember everyone else's number as they were told, because she's all for looking for a bad excuse to disguise her incompetence. Amidst all this, the number guy tells Alison hers is 2547. Nikki's number is 6455. She jumps, meaning that at this point, they've won $4000.


And then it happens. Petrina's number is 5636. Now, remember back to about twenty minutes ago. What was the solution to the first puzzle, with MOLE on the phone keypad? That's right, 6653. And why do you suppose Petrina got these numbers instead of the same code as everyone else? Because she's the MOLE. (No, really, everyone else got the first four letters of their name on a phone keypad. 6284 spells NATH, 5674 is JOSH, 2268 is CAM, plus the V for the first letter in his surname, 7822 is STAC, 2547 is ALIS, and 6455 is NIKK.) Petrina jumps. Great Mole she is. Can't even keep the money out of the kitty.

Kris edges her way to the... uh, edge... of the plane, split-screening to both badly impersonate Hannibal Lecter and to mock Air Force One. At least she's not taking a joyflight over New York for pictures, or enjoying some fava beans with a nice Chianti. Kris refuses to jump, which is good, because it earns them another grand. She walks back, losing the split-screen for a second, before it returns for her to tell us she "didn't know whether it was fear or a hot flush [she] was having".

The Skydiving Cameramen get some nice shots of the descent as everyone else goes down. Nikki lands, voicing over that she "felt like a bird". And she would also like to apologize to those people driving past in the convertible, because when you feel like a bird, it's apparently impossible to resist going the whole hog. When Alison lands, she gives an impromptu confessional in which she tells us that she "had [her] legs wrapped around his legs". I'll bet she did. Oh, and she also did the same thing with her arms, because she was nervous about her harness, but that isn't as funny.

Nikki, Alison, and Petrina pose for the cameras for no reason. At the same time, the three skydiving men walk up to the hotel, with Grant, Greg, and Shaun peering through the window like they're eight-year-olds watching the front lawn as their parents fight over who ran over the neighbour's cat. The guy skydivers (guydivers?) enter the room everyone else is in, and Grant helpfully reminds them that, as far as they know, their "little errand" was pointless and penniless. Josh pompously posits that "we were wondering about that", but you just know what he wants to say is "I was wondering about that". Grant explains the ins and outs of the betting assignment, which I really don't feel like explaining again, and asks the guydivers if they jumped. Cute Cam did, and Hot Nathan did, so they win $2000. But Shaun has to try and change history, telling Josh he stayed in the plane. Please. Like he would have gotten here as fast if he was still in the plane. Even Hot Nathan seems surprised by what they said, and Josh takes offence. Lesson: Never question Josh's manhood, whatever little of it there is. It costs them $1000, so they're back down to $1000. Grant points out that this result is "pitiful", but it's still a win. Have I mentioned how much Grant pwns the frigging universe yet, especially compared to Tom "Chesty McOckerSmarm" Williams? Because he totally does.

And here comes a segment that someone more lenient than myself might deem to call "fun", but I call "misogynistic". As it turns out, Grant thinks "the ladies packed a little heavy", and it's the mens' job to repack their luggage for them. Because no Mole season down here would be complete without the stupid luggage-repacking task nobody really likes that much. I just hope none of them brought a Tickle-Me-Elmo with them this time. We'll never hear the end of it. The guydivers seem shocked, especially Hot Nathan, which may or may not have helped with the rumours that went around about his... how do I put this... lack of experience with women's clothes and the lady-bits that go inside said clothes. Which I don't buy for a second. Not that I'd kick him out of bed or anything, because I totally wouldn't, but... he's not the sort of person I'd even consider as gay. At least, not until I bother checking what a stevedore actually is. And even then, he's from freaking Cronulla. I think they still burn people at the stake for being gay there. (Well, it's one way to make Hot Nathan even hotter, I suppose.) (And it's not like I can snark about someone else's suburb, given Bayswater is as bogan-filled as Frankston, but without the reputation.)

And back to whatever the hell it is I'm actually supposed to be writing about.

For every kilogram of crap they take out, the team wins $1000. Got it? Good. Because you've only got five minutes to do it in. After the break, we find out that the girls are going to watch them do it. Well, we really find out now, but I don't think it was intended to ruin the surprise like this. Speaking of surprising, Josh tries on Petrina's corset while they do it.

Commercials! The previous commercial break was brought to you by words beginning with capital letters.

The guys enter the Bedroom Of Overpacking Backpackers, and immediately set about unpacking stuff. Grant voices over that there's over 100 kilograms of stuff, so the team could conceivably win over $100,000. But then the women would have to walk around naked. I'm sure most of these guys won't have a problem with it, but some producer guy has probably told them not to let that happen. (Hilariously, at this point, Seven puts up a graphic on the bottom of a screen for an episode of Alias. Sometimes, the marketing people almost know what they're doing. This might be one of those rare times.)

Back in the main room, Grant is standing next to a plasma screen, watching the action unfold. The girls walk in and realise what the men are doing. I think it's Stace who threatens to kill one of the guys, but I can't tell. If it is, it's possibly the most she gets to speak during the entire episode. We get to watch the girls watch the guys, and it's quite possibly the most boring television this show has ever produced. At least during Grant's tenure as host. Kris exhibits a brief moment of self-loathing when Cute Cam holds up a relatively small pair of undies.

Grant explains everything that's happening to the girls, and, after some more Boring Channel-Nine-Esque Television, sets about trying to figure out who's unpacking which luggage. It turns out Josh has Petrina's, which pisses Petrina off, because she's not even being given a chance to suck as The Mole. And why did she bring that blue tie-dyed dress, anyway? We get to see some more of Josh playing with Petrina's lingerie, as though we hadn't seen enough of it already. Stace snarks that their work was "fantastic", and that all she was gonna be left with was "the clothes that [she's] wearing, and three books". Either Alison or Nikki asks Grant how much they're allowed to take out, and Grant says there's no limit, and reluctantly adds that the girls won't be getting it back. Yeah, well, that's what he said last time, and look how many times Thao bought back her stupid Elmo doll.

Apparently, someone has a padded bra.

In the BOOB, Hot Nathan holds up a small-ish makeup bag (or whatever it is) and wonders whether it's necessary, before putting it back. Shaun split-screens that Hot Nathan had Kris's bag, and wasn't taking much out of it. Kris cackles upon seeing her frog pyjamas on the screen, and Shaun continues rabbiting on about why it's suspicious that Hot Nathan didn't want Kris to walk around in minimal clothing for the next three weeks. Because Shaun clearly does.

Grant tells the girls the time is almost up, as always trying to make an excuse to leave. Cam holds someone's G-string up to the camera. There are some things I really, really don't need to know about reality contestants, and that was one of them. Kris suddenly becomes aware that Hot Nathan is rifling through her underwear.

In the BOOB, Grant comes in and asks how everything went. Over a shot of Greg's ugly-jumpered arms placing a sock on a pile of red, white, and blue clothing, Greg tells us it went "perfect" (sic). In this season's first ridiculously snarky edit, Hot Nathan split-screens to tell us he was too busy trying not to touch Kris's knickers to get rid of much of her clothing. Cam confessionals that Nathan didn't take much out. God, not this again. Alison turns the tables on Cam, complaining that he didn't take enough out. Heh. She says he took a lot out, but it was all stuff which didn't weigh much, like "a fishnet t-shirt". I'm not sure I even want to know the deal with that one. Where was she expecting to get in some BDSM during this game? Is there something about Grant we don’t know?

Grant tells the guys that they'll weigh the removed stuff and bring back a total, but someone else will do it, because Grant himself will be too busy praying for their salvation. I'll be praying that next year's Eurovision is better. (Congratulations to the fish-lipped yelling Norwegian, by the way.)

Dinnertime! Josh condescendingly tells the girls that they took out whatever they could in five minutes, and that they should be thankful for it. Well, sure, women should ALWAYS be thankful when men ransack their belongings. Shut up, Josh. You'll notice that Petrina is the first to laugh at his statement. Because she's totally the Mole, and she's not thankful they took clothes out at all. Grant interrupts the conversation to ask what the girls were doing, which is stupid, because 1) he was there with them, 2) people would surely have had a chance to talk to each other by now, and 3) I thought he was supposed to be praying. On your knees, Grant!

...That didn't come out the way I intended it to. Moving on.

Anyway, Stace and Alison tell them in unison that they were watching, and Alison take the time to compliment Josh on his appearance in Petrina's boob tube. Kris leads a half-hearted cheer at Josh's expense, and Josh looks thoroughly embarrassed, as well he probably should. Grant breaks the news that they took out twenty-seven kilograms worth of stuff. So that's $27,000 for the kitty, which I believe makes the total prize money at this point $35,000.

And now, it's time for the fun part of this boring dinner. As you may remember, the seven people who jumped got told those four-digit codes before they did so. Well, now it's time to see how well they remembered them. As yet another split-screen shows the waiters bringing in safes, which for the love of God better have a good dessert inside to be worth going to all this effort for, Grant explains that each of the skydivers will get a chance to open their safe. If they enter the right code, they win $1000. Again, if you get it wrong, they take $1000 away. It's a decent idea, but the problem is that even though Kris won the team money by not jumping, she doesn't get the chance to do it here. Perhaps what they should have done is given everyone the numbers before they left the plane, but only the correctly guessed skydivers got a chance to do it. Then, if everyone gets in, all the others have a chance. Yeah, it's convoluted, but it seems as though the money they earned with Kris's prediction earlier is negated here, which is fucking stupid.

Anyway, onto the cases. Alison is first, and we are shown a split-screen flashback to the instructor guy giving her her number. Alison types in 2053, which is obviously wrong, given that not only does she not have any letters equal to zero on a phone keypad, but neither does anybody in existence. Stace opens hers easily. Go, Stace! Nikki also gets hers, and we're finally earning some money. But not for long, because Petrina is next. She types in 6336, which doesn't even come close to spelling anything. Not that 5636 did either, but... you know. Petrina overreacts to losing money. My God-Buddha-Allah-Ganesh, you'd think she'd be used to it after that first challenge. Hot Nathan split-screens that Petrina was whining all afternoon that she wasn't going to remember her number, and then she didn't; but he was more surprised by Josh, because he'd already figured out that Petrina was the Mole. Speaking of Josh, we have to wait until after the commercial break to find out what happened with him. Unless you're observant enough to notice that he pushes the numbers 5 and 8 here in this little bumper, even though there weren't any eights in his number. Way to ruin it, editors.

Commercials! I wonder if all the right-wing Christians in America would be pissed if I told them Jesus Christ was a Jew. I know Mel Gibson would be. (It's not blasphemy if it's technically accurate, right?)

Grant rehashes that because Petrina and Alison both fucked up their safe combinations, and Nikki and Stace both got it right, the last few minutes have been entirely pointless. But now it's the boys' turn, and you can guarantee we're gonna get a result one way or 'tother here. Josh had 5674, and both he and Shaun confessional that Josh thought he could do it, because he remembered the number on the way down. He obviously didn't remember it well enough, because 5824 sure as hell ain't right. Stace voices over that it was "very dodgy that Josh didn't open the safe", and split-screens that he should have been able to do it because of how quickly he did the first safe. She does realise that these are entirely different things, right? Because he could see what he needed to figure out the code for the first safe? Grant totally mocks him without mocking him, using that funny condescending voice he has to point out that the team's down $1000 now. Heh. Hot Nathan had 6284, and enters it correctly, but has trouble with the door for some reason. When he eventually does get it open, he looks deliriously pleased with himself. Cute Cam also enters his code, 2268, in correctly, and thus the group actually won some money out of the safes. Thank the world's assorted deities for that.

Grant points out that, even though the safes produced a paltry result, the team has earned themselves a total of $36,000 in this episode. Which is great for an episode, especially in this low-budget version, but when you consider that they could have won over $120,000? Not that stellar. He then explains that someone's getting the boot tonight. Ouch. Not even a full day in the game? That'd be a bitch. Even back in that second season with the sixteen hopefuls, they waited until the next morning to get rid of everyone. Grant explains how the elimination works, and I'm going to assume you all know how it works, so I'm not going to bother re-explaining it here. Besides, this is the fourth season of the show, and it'd look stupid if I explained it now but not in the first season's recaps, whenever I get around to them.

The Ominous Music Of Questionnaire-Taking plays in the background, still unchanged after three seasons. This time, however, the players use styluses on what appear to be flat-screen electronics plaques, complete with an on-screen keyboard.

Question 3 asks, "What sex is the Mole?", and the options are "Male", "Female", "Hermaphrodite", and "Wouldn't you like to know?". Except for those last two. The wording of Question 4 is blurry on my screen, but it appears to be asking for the Mole's safe combination. At this point, Grant confirms that the Mole knows all the answers and can get a high score. Well, sure, it’s not like the Mole would get themselves deliberately eliminated or anything. Shaun logs in just in time for us to get a glimpse of Question 1, asking where the Mole was during the "Arrival Game". Shaun tells us he thinks The Mole is Josh, and yet hits the little button for Hyde Park, which is where he and Petrina started. Speak of the Devil, she herself tells us that she couldn't believe that Greg and Shaun thought Josh wouldn't jump out of the plane. Hot Nathan bitches once more about how "Greg stood out a lot at the airport". I'll bet he did. (What? They recycled the quote, so I recycled my joke. Fair trade.) Kris tells us a bunch of the guys confused her into thinking that they were all the Mole, as we see Question 7 - Who sat on the Mole's right at dinner? Stace tells us Cam is "a bit of a wildcard", answering the same question about the safe combinations as we saw before, adding in her voice over that she's "pretty suspicious of everyone at this stage". Well, that'll help you win the game. She's jiggling a couple of rocks in her left hand as she completes the questionnaire. Cute Cam provides a voiceover about thinking it's Alison listing her failures, as we see the omnipresent "Who is the Mole?" question. It what may or may not have been deliberate, you might notice that Petrina's name is first on the list. But Cam picks Kris. Noooooooo! I'm not ready to lose half my eye-candy yet. Josh says he thought it was Cam, but has slowly changed his mind over the course of the last twelve hours or so. He continues rambling that he thinks the Mole is "a competent, intelligent person capable of deceiving". Firstly, the word is deception, Josh. Secondly, if that was meant to come across as a burn against Cute Cam? Shut up.

Grant interrupts that even though the players have their own ideas about who the Mole is, you can apparently hop into a time machine and enter some competition to guess who the hell Petrina is. Uh, I mean, "who the Mole is". But we all know it's Petrina, so there's no point in even trying to pretend there's a mystery about this. As you would expect from this particular TV network, the phone number contains a helluva lot of sevens. And the first four digits add up to seven. Is that some sort of hint that I'm too dumb to get the full meaning of?

...You know what? Fuck it. I already know it's Petrina. I don't need no stinking hints I don't understand.

After the break: The most shocking rose ceremony ever! Wait... wrong show. This one doesn't have any shocks at all.

Commercials! Is it a sign of the apocalypse that the fish-lipped yelling Norwegian Eurovision winner was actually wearing clothes that looked good on him?

It's time for the contestants to record their video diaries. You remember how these work, right? Every night, the contestants take a video camera into their room and record their thoughts, like it's a diary of some kind. On video. It's really a very imaginative title. While Nikki checks to make sure her hair looks good, Alison checks to make sure her video camera is turned on. It would help with the recording process. Cute Cam is "terrified" about the chance of going home tonight, because you just know the Bros down at the fire station are going to come up with some sort of bizarre hazing-style prank if he does. Petrina um's and ah's for a little while before eventually coming up with "I'm scared", because she is trying to get rid of any chance someone hasn't figured out she's the Mole. Shaun doesn't want to go home, because then he can't win any money. Stace holds up one of her magic rocks to the camera, explaining it's supposed to help give her wealth and courage and all that. Probably should have grabbed some rocks to help with her memory, then, shouldn't she? She calls them "magic juju". There... are other words I could (and should) use to describe using rocks as a strategy to win a game like this.

Bad moon rising.

The contestants enter the Room Of Impending Doom. It must be entirely coincidental that the women all sit in the front row with the men behind them, because this episode was already misogynistic enough. Sigh. Grant congratulates everyone for their efforts so far, but warns that one of the ten of them won't be getting a shiny ticket to New Caledonia. It's about time this show left the damn country. Shame they couldn't have picked somewhere farther away from Australia. Grant explains that he's going to choose the names at random, but you know and I know he'll be choosing them in an order predetermined for Dramatic Effect. Green screens are good, red screens are bad. You know, the same deal this show always has.

Kris is the first cab off the rank, and she's safe. Kris's eyes bug out when she sees the green screen, and it makes her look like an extra in Finding Nemo. Hee. Cute Cam is also safe. Petrina, of course, gets a green screen of her own. Grant calls out Nikki's name next, and at first she looks afraid. She looks petrified. She gets a green screen, allowing her to spend some more nights thinking how someone'll do her wrong. There's a couple of people edited out of this at some point, because when Grant goes to enter Stace's name, we see that there are only four names left on the screen -- Alison, Hot Nathan, Shaun, and Stace herself. Apparently, Greg's reaction wasn't interesting enough to make the episode. Try to look surprised. (You or Greg? I'll leave it up to you to decide. Either way, he needs to learn how to get along.) Stace gets the red screen, and immediately falls off her chair in surprise. Is it really that shocking? I mean, she thought it was suspicious that someone earned money for the team before. I'd say something about thinking she'd crumble, thinking she'd lay down and die (at least in the metaphorical sense), but I think her collapsing on the floor has just proven it. Grant wants her to, walk out the door, just turn around now, 'cause she's not welcome any more.

Grant walks Stace out to the car, as the group conversates. We return to smiling Stace as Kris voices over that "Stace was fascinating". Sure, that's one word to describe it. Apparently, Stace is one of the most fearless people Kris has ever met. I'm not really sure how you could tell that after one day, unless every person Kris has ever met would rather make scones and watch repeats of Sons & Daughters than skydive. (Insert your own Pat the Rat joke here.) Nikki and Alison both tell us that Stace was a very positive person. Shaun thinks it's ludicrous for someone so tiny to have such a big heart. He does know the expression is just a metaphor, right? Outside, Stace is pissed that her "magic juju" didn't work, and Grant points out that she "needed stronger magic". Grant wishes Stace a safe trip, and waits on the stairs as Stace drives off. See, Tom Williams? THAT is how you do it. Ignore your own opinion on something for a few seconds, keep your damn shirt on, and be supportive and respectful to people. It's really no wonder Grant is so much more popular than Smuggy McDipshit.

Grant reminds us that there are nine people left, as though we can't count.

Next week: The team loses money, and Nikki doesn't know or care where Greg lives. Everyone walks along a tightrope. There's a giant crossword puzzle, but it doesn't appear to be particularly hard. And in the most important piece of previewy goodness, Hot Nathan takes his shirt off.

The credits run alongside the preview, which, will a great idea, doesn't allow me to mock people involved with the show easily. Suffice to say, I'm still wondering why five people have to be credited as Challenge Producers when almost every challenge this season is a copy of something that didn't work somewhere else.